[ woody allen Quotes ]
Showing search results for Woody Allen Quotes - 26 quotations by Woody Allen - Dictionary Quotes
26 quotes (Page 1 of 2 pages)A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
Sex
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 875 votes
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.
Maturity
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 919 votes
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Success
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 871 votes
I am at two with nature.
Nature
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 843 votes
I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Death and Dying
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 964 votes
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Immortality
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 850 votes
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
Comedy and Comedians
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 853 votes
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
Love
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 905 votes
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead.
Food and Eating
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 823 votes
I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
Club
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 1007 votes
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Death and Dying
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 890 votes
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
Intelligence and Intellectuals
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 959 votes
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
Movies
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 914 votes
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Skepticism
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 937 votes
If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
Risk
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 779 votes
It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
Possibilities
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 856 votes
Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Life and Living
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 892 votes
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
Body
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 909 votes
Marriage is the death of hope.
Marriage
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 832 votes
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Money
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 1004 votes
My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.
Regret
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 877 votes
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
Death and Dying
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 988 votes
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
Love
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 820 votes
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Sex
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 900 votes
The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..
Marriage
Woody Allen
Comment this quote | Permalink | Vote for this quote | 866 votes
Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
[ Research ] Wernher Von Braun