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5086 quotes

Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
Acquaintance
Ambrose Bierce

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Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
Army and Navy
Ambrose Bierce

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An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
Acquaintance
Ambrose Bierce

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An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
Optimism
Ambrose Bierce

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Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Bores and Boredom
Ambrose Bierce

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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Calamity
Ambrose Bierce

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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
Knowledge
Ambrose Bierce

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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
Religion
Ambrose Bierce

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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Anger
Ambrose Bierce

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The gambling known as business looks with severe disfavor on the business known as gambling.
Gambling
Ambrose Bierce

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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
Vanity
Ambrose Bierce

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Think twice before you speak to a friend in need.
Thoughts and Thinking
Ambrose Bierce

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Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
Wit
Ambrose Bierce

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A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.
Happiness
Josh Billings

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As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.
Success
Josh Billings

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Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.
Mother-in-Laws
Josh Billings

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Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail; then you can let go when you want to.
Control
Josh Billings

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Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.
Flattery
Josh Billings

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I don't care how much a person talks, if they only say it in a few words.
Speakers and Speaking
Josh Billings

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I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.
Age and Aging
Josh Billings

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I honestly believe it is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.
Knowledge
Josh Billings

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It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.
Attitude
Josh Billings

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Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.
Knowledge
Josh Billings

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Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.
Repentance
Josh Billings

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Never work before breakfast. If you have to work before breakfast, get your breakfast first.
Work
Josh Billings

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Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
[ Research ] Wernher Von Braun