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Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.
Bachelor
H. L. Mencken

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Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
Bachelor
H. L. Mencken

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Democracy is also a form of religion. It is the worship of jackals by jackasses.
Democracy
H. L. Mencken

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For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.
Problems
H. L. Mencken

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Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.
Voting
H. L. Mencken

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Historian -- an unsuccessful novelist.
History and Historians
H. L. Mencken

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Honor is simply the morality of superior men.
Honor
H. L. Mencken

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I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs.
Action
H. L. Mencken

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It is hard for the ape to believe he descended from man.
Evolution
H. L. Mencken

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Let's not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse.
Colleges and Universities
H. L. Mencken

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Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
Choice
H. L. Mencken

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Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.
Love
H. L. Mencken

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Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly.
Humankind
H. L. Mencken

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Man weeps to think that he will die so soon; woman, that she was born so long ago.
Men and Women
H. L. Mencken

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Most people want security in this world, not liberty.
Safety
H. L. Mencken

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No matter how long he lives, no man ever becomes as wise as the average woman of forty-eight.
Wisdom
H. L. Mencken

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Remorse is regret that one waited so long to do it.
Remorse
H. L. Mencken

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The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
Money
H. L. Mencken

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The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
Crime and Criminals
H. L. Mencken

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The cure for the evils of democracy is more democracy.
Democracy
H. L. Mencken

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The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
Age and Aging
H. L. Mencken

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The only cure for contempt is counter-contempt.
Abuse
H. L. Mencken

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The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false face for the urge to rule it.
Power
H. L. Mencken

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Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing.
Theology
H. L. Mencken

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There is no record in history of a happy philosopher.
Philosophers and Philosophy
H. L. Mencken

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Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
[ Research ] Wernher Von Braun