[ h. l. mencken Quotes ]
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A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.
[ Fame ]
H. L. Mencken
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24 votes
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
[ Cynics and Cynicism ]
H. L. Mencken
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26 votes
A gentlemen is one who never strikes a woman without provocation.
[ Gentlemen ]
H. L. Mencken
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15 votes
A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
[ Politicians and Politics ]
H. L. Mencken
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16 votes
A judge is a law student who grades his own papers.
[ Law and Lawyers ]
H. L. Mencken
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34 votes
A nun, at best, is only half a woman, just as a priest is only half a man.
[ Nuns ]
H. L. Mencken
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15 votes
A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank.
[ Alcohol and Alcoholism ]
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken books
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23 votes
Adultery is the application of democracy to love.
[ Adultery ]
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken books
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10 votes
After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
[ Quotations ]
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken books
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16 votes
Alimony -- the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
[ Alimony ]
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken books
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26 votes
Archbishop -- A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.
[ Churches ]
H. L. Mencken
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35 votes
As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.
[ Heart ]
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken books
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22 votes
Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.
[ Bachelor ]
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken books
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26 votes
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
[ Bachelor ]
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken books
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17 votes
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
[ Conscience ]
H. L. Mencken
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17 votes
Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
[ Conscience ]
H. L. Mencken
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9 votes
Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
[ Critics and Criticism ]
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken books
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14 votes
Democracy is also a form of religion. It is the worship of jackals by jackasses.
[ Democracy ]
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken books
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16 votes
Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.
[ Decency ]
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken books
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27 votes
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
[ Faith ]
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken books
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21 votes
For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.
[ Problems ]
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken books
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12 votes
Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.
[ Voting ]
H. L. Mencken
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17 votes
Historian -- an unsuccessful novelist.
[ History and Historians ]
H. L. Mencken
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16 votes
Honor is simply the morality of superior men.
[ Honor ]
H. L. Mencken
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15 votes
Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.
[ Husbands ]
H. L. Mencken
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15 votes
I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing.
[ Democracy ]
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken books
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17 votes
I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs.
[ Action ]
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken books
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18 votes
If I ever marry it will be on a sudden impulse, as a man shoots himself.
[ Marriage ]
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken books
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18 votes
In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.
[ Heroes and Heroism ]
H. L. Mencken
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15 votes
Injustice is relatively easy to bear what stings is justice.
[ Justice ]
H. L. Mencken
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21 votes
It is a sin to believe evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.
[ Belief ]
H. L. Mencken
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16 votes
It is hard for the ape to believe he descended from man.
[ Evolution ]
H. L. Mencken
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14 votes
It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.
[ Certainty ]
H. L. Mencken
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10 votes
Legend : a lie that has attained the dignity of age.
[ Legend ]
H. L. Mencken
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15 votes
Let's not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse.
[ Colleges and Universities ]
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken books
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17 votes
Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
[ Choice ]
H. L. Mencken
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15 votes
Life is a dead-end street.
[ Life and Living ]
H. L. Mencken
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14 votes
Love is the delusion that one man or woman differs from another.
[ Love ]
H. L. Mencken
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17 votes
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
[ Love ]
H. L. Mencken
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16 votes
Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly.
[ Humankind ]
H. L. Mencken
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21 votes
Man weeps to think that he will die so soon; woman, that she was born so long ago.
[ Men and Women ]
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken books
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12 votes
Most people want security in this world, not liberty.
[ Safety ]
H. L. Mencken
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17 votes
No matter how long he lives, no man ever becomes as wise as the average woman of forty-eight.
[ Wisdom ]
H. L. Mencken
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12 votes
No one hates his job so heartily as a farmer.
[ Farming and Farmers ]
H. L. Mencken
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18 votes
On one issue at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.
[ Agreement ]
H. L. Mencken
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9 votes
Opera in English, is about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
[ Opera ]
H. L. Mencken
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24 votes
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
[ Puritans ]
H. L. Mencken
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13 votes
Remorse is regret that one waited so long to do it.
[ Remorse ]
H. L. Mencken
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10 votes
Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.
[ Self-respect ]
H. L. Mencken
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16 votes
Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse.
[ Temptation ]
H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken books
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17 votes