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Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
Medicine
Ambrose Bierce

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Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Bores and Boredom
Ambrose Bierce

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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Calamity
Ambrose Bierce

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Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
Nuns
Ambrose Bierce

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Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
Business
Ambrose Bierce

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Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
Destiny
Ambrose Bierce

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Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
Divorce
Ambrose Bierce

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Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
Egotism
Ambrose Bierce

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Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
Experience
Ambrose Bierce

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Habit is a shackle for the free.
Habit
Ambrose Bierce

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Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
Childhood
Ambrose Bierce

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Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
History and Historians
Ambrose Bierce

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Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
Marriage
Ambrose Bierce

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Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
Atheism
Ambrose Bierce

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Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
Knowledge
Ambrose Bierce

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Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
Learning
Ambrose Bierce

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Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
Law Suits
Ambrose Bierce

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Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
Drugs
Ambrose Bierce

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Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
Optimism
Ambrose Bierce

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Patience. A minor form of despair disguised as a virtue.
Patience
Ambrose Bierce

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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
Patriotism
Ambrose Bierce

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Prophecy: The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
Prophecy
Ambrose Bierce

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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
Religion
Ambrose Bierce

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Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
Revolutions and Revolutionaries
Ambrose Bierce

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The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
Quotations
Ambrose Bierce

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Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
[ Research ] Wernher Von Braun