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Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
Absurdity
Ambrose Bierce

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An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
Acquaintance
Ambrose Bierce

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An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
Optimism
Ambrose Bierce

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Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
Architecture
Ambrose Bierce

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Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
Bigotry
Ambrose Bierce

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Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
Gossip
Ambrose Bierce

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Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
Deliberation
Ambrose Bierce

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Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
Atheism
Ambrose Bierce

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Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
Law Suits
Ambrose Bierce

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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
Patriotism
Ambrose Bierce

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Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
Physicians
Ambrose Bierce

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Prophecy: The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
Prophecy
Ambrose Bierce

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Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
Success
Ambrose Bierce

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The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
Quotations
Ambrose Bierce

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To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Certainty
Ambrose Bierce

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Always live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so.
Debt
Josh Billings

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Common sense is the knack of seeing things as they are, and doing things as they ought to be done.
Common Sense
Josh Billings

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I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.
Age and Aging
Josh Billings

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I honestly believe it is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.
Knowledge
Josh Billings

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It's not only the most difficult thing to know one's self, but the most inconvenient.
Self discovery
Josh Billings

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Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.
Knowledge
Josh Billings

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One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can.
Quality
Josh Billings

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Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
Silence
Josh Billings

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The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.
Anxiety
Josh Billings

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Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.
Time and Time Management
Josh Billings

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Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
[ Research ] Wernher Von Braun