Erma Bombeck
9 quotations
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
Never accept a drink from a Urologist.
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.
I am not a glutton -- I am an explorer of food.
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.