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Showing search results for Woody Allen Quotes - 26 quotations by Woody Allen - Dictionary Quotes
26 quotes (Page 1 of 2 pages)


A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
Sex
Woody Allen

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Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.
Maturity
Woody Allen

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Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Success
Woody Allen

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I am at two with nature.
Nature
Woody Allen

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I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Death and Dying
Woody Allen

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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Immortality
Woody Allen

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I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
Comedy and Comedians
Woody Allen

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I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
Love
Woody Allen

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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead.
Food and Eating
Woody Allen

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I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
Club
Woody Allen

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I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Death and Dying
Woody Allen

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I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
Intelligence and Intellectuals
Woody Allen

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If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
Movies
Woody Allen

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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Skepticism
Woody Allen

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If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
Risk
Woody Allen

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It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
Possibilities
Woody Allen

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Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Life and Living
Woody Allen

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Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
Body
Woody Allen

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Marriage is the death of hope.
Marriage
Woody Allen

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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Money
Woody Allen

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My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.
Regret
Woody Allen

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On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
Death and Dying
Woody Allen

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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
Love
Woody Allen

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Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Sex
Woody Allen

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The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..
Marriage
Woody Allen

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Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
[ Research ] Wernher Von Braun