[ woody allen Quotes ]
26 Quotations
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A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
[ Sex ]
Woody Allen
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28 votes
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.
[ Maturity ]
Woody Allen
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24 votes
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
[ Success ]
Woody Allen
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29 votes
I am at two with nature.
[ Nature ]
Woody Allen
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36 votes
I don't believe in an after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
[ Death and Dying ]
Woody Allen
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35 votes
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
[ Immortality ]
Woody Allen
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20 votes
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
[ Comedy and Comedians ]
Woody Allen
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34 votes
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
[ Love ]
Woody Allen
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33 votes
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead -- not sick, not wounded -- dead.
[ Food and Eating ]
Woody Allen
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22 votes
I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
[ Club ]
Woody Allen
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38 votes
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
[ Death and Dying ]
Woody Allen
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35 votes
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
[ Intelligence and Intellectuals ]
Woody Allen
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34 votes
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
[ Movies ]
Woody Allen
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33 votes
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
[ Skepticism ]
Woody Allen
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38 votes
If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.
[ Risk ]
Woody Allen
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16 votes
It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic.
[ Possibilities ]
Woody Allen
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34 votes
Life is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
[ Life and Living ]
Woody Allen
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30 votes
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
[ Body ]
Woody Allen
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30 votes
Marriage is the death of hope.
[ Marriage ]
Woody Allen
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22 votes
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
[ Money ]
Woody Allen
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37 votes
My one regret in life is that I'm not someone else.
[ Regret ]
Woody Allen
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35 votes
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily as lying down.
[ Death and Dying ]
Woody Allen
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41 votes
Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
[ Love ]
Woody Allen
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25 votes
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
[ Sex ]
Woody Allen
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34 votes
The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..
[ Marriage ]
Woody Allen
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25 votes
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
[ Reason ]
Woody Allen
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37 votes