[ groucho marx Quotes ]
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19 quotations
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Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
[ Death and Dying ]
Groucho Marx
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39 votes
Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
[ Age and Aging ]
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22 votes
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
[ Faces ]
Groucho Marx
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35 votes
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
[ Weddings ]
Groucho Marx
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47 votes
I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
[ Association ]
Groucho Marx
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24 votes
I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
[ Poverty and The Poor ]
Groucho Marx
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60 votes
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
[ Jokes and Jokers ]
Groucho Marx
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39 votes
Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
[ Poverty and The Poor ]
Groucho Marx
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50 votes
My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
[ Children ]
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13 votes
No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
[ Time and Time Management ]
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51 votes
One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
[ Marriage ]
Groucho Marx
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20 votes
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
[ Leaders and Leadership ]
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29 votes
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
[ People ]
Groucho Marx
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41 votes
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
[ Politicians and Politics ]
Groucho Marx
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59 votes
Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
[ Writers and Writing ]
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29 votes
There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
[ Envy ]
Groucho Marx
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49 votes
There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
[ Honesty ]
Groucho Marx
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40 votes
Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
[ Sex ]
Groucho Marx
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48 votes
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
[ Wives ]
Groucho Marx
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37 votes