[ groucho marx Quotes ]



Showing search results for Groucho Marx Quotes - 19 quotations by Groucho Marx - Dictionary Quotes
19 quotes

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
Death and Dying
Groucho Marx

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Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.
Age and Aging
Groucho Marx

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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
Faces
Groucho Marx

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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Weddings
Groucho Marx

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I won't belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
Association
Groucho Marx

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I worked myself up from nothing to extreme poverty.
Poverty and The Poor
Groucho Marx

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If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
Jokes and Jokers
Groucho Marx

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Look at me. I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.
Poverty and The Poor
Groucho Marx

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My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
Children
Groucho Marx

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No man goes before his time -- unless the boss leaves early.
Time and Time Management
Groucho Marx

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One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife.
Marriage
Groucho Marx

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Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999 follow women.
Leaders and Leadership
Groucho Marx

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Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
People
Groucho Marx

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Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
Politicians and Politics
Groucho Marx

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Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book, and does.
Writers and Writing
Groucho Marx

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There is no sweeter sound than the crumbling of ones fellow man.
Envy
Groucho Marx

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There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him! If he says yes you know he's crooked.
Honesty
Groucho Marx

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Whoever named it necking is a poor judge of anatomy.
Sex
Groucho Marx

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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
Wives
Groucho Marx

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Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
[ Research ] Wernher Von Braun