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12663 quotes

To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman.
Uncategorised
Mark Twain

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To stop smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know; I've done it a thousand times.
Habit
Mark Twain

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True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.
Irreverence
Mark Twain

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Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
Prayer
Mark Twain

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Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
Alcohol and Alcoholism
Mark Twain

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We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove.
Conformity
Mark Twain

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We have the best government that money can buy.
Government
Mark Twain

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We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks, if we agree with him.
Thoughts and Thinking
Mark Twain

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When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.
Deception
Mark Twain

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When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
Anger
Mark Twain

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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.
Memory
Mark Twain

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When one has tasted it [Watermelon] he knows what the angels eat.
Food and Eating
Mark Twain

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When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Insanity
Mark Twain

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When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one.
Compliments
Mark Twain

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Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.
Work
Mark Twain

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You can't depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus.
Judgment and Judges
Mark Twain

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You can't pray a lie.
Prayer
Mark Twain

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You cannot depend on your judgments when your imagination is out of focus.
Imagination
Mark Twain

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You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom.
Travel and Tourism
Mark Twain

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Professionalism is knowing how to do it, when to do it, and doing it.
Professions and Professionals
Frank Tyger

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Every life has a measure of sorrow, and sometimes this is what awakens us.
Sorrow
Steven Tyler

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A critic is a man who knows the way, but can't drive the car.
Critics and Criticism
Kenneth Tynan

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The rest, called literature, is a dossier of human imbecility for the guidance of future professors.
Literature
Tristan Tzara

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Any change or reform you make is going to have consequence you don't like.
Change
Mo Udall

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Hate is such a luxurious emotion, it can only be spent on one we love.
Hatred
Bob Udkoff

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Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
[ Research ] Wernher Von Braun