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8435 quotesBigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
Bigotry
Ambrose Bierce
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Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Bores and Boredom
Ambrose Bierce
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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Calamity
Ambrose Bierce
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Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
Gossip
Ambrose Bierce
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Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
Advice
Ambrose Bierce
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Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
Nuns
Ambrose Bierce
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Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
Deliberation
Ambrose Bierce
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Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
Scholars and Scholarship
Ambrose Bierce
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Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
Fidelity
Ambrose Bierce
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Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
History and Historians
Ambrose Bierce
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Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
Irreverence
Ambrose Bierce
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Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
Law Suits
Ambrose Bierce
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Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
Drugs
Ambrose Bierce
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
Patriotism
Ambrose Bierce
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Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
Religion
Ambrose Bierce
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
Critics and Criticism
Ambrose Bierce
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Think twice before you speak to a friend in need.
Thoughts and Thinking
Ambrose Bierce
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To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
Forgiveness
Ambrose Bierce
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To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Certainty
Ambrose Bierce
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To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
Planning
Ambrose Bierce
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A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay.
Places
Josh Billings
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A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.
Happiness
Josh Billings
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Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.
Advice
Josh Billings
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Always live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so.
Debt
Josh Billings
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As a general thing, when the woman wears the pants in the family, she has a good right to them.
Marriage
Josh Billings
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Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
[ Research ] Wernher Von Braun