Mark Twain
189 quotations
By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.
Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.
There is nothing so annoying as a good example!!
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Man will do many things to get himself loved; he will do all things to get himself envied.
We are all alike, on the inside.
I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.
Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
It was the schoolboy who said, Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
Familiarity breeds contempt; and children.
Adam was the luckiest man; he had no mother-in-law.
When one has tasted it [Watermelon] he knows what the angels eat.
I was young and foolish then; now I am old and foolisher.
Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages.
Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered -- either by themselves or by others.
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.