Mark Twain
189 quotations
Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time.
No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.
There are no grades of vanity, there are only grades of ability in concealing it.
I have not a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming vices.
Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.
Virtue has never been as respectable as money.
There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.
If you don't like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes.
Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.
I don't give a damn for man that can spell a word only one way.
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
Intellectual work is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward.
Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.
I do not like work even when someone else does it.
Thunder is impressive, but it is lightning that does the work.
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
As to the adjective, when in doubt strike it out.
Never do wrong when people are looking.
It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -- you see, I have friends in both places.
Noise proves nothing, Often a hen who has laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.
When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one.
If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
I can live for two months on a good compliment.