Ambrose Bierce
83 quotations
Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
Prophecy: The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
Truth -- An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.
Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
Think twice before you speak to a friend in need.
Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.