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9076 quotes

Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
Life and Living
Ambrose Bierce

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Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
Law Suits
Ambrose Bierce

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Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
Drugs
Ambrose Bierce

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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
Patriotism
Ambrose Bierce

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Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
Politeness
Ambrose Bierce

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Prophecy: The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
Prophecy
Ambrose Bierce

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Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
Saints
Ambrose Bierce

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Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
Swearing
Ambrose Bierce

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The gambling known as business looks with severe disfavor on the business known as gambling.
Gambling
Ambrose Bierce

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The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
Congress
Ambrose Bierce

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The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
Marriage
Ambrose Bierce

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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
Vanity
Ambrose Bierce

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To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Certainty
Ambrose Bierce

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Truth -- An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.
Truth
Ambrose Bierce

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Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
Wit
Ambrose Bierce

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A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay.
Places
Josh Billings

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A good way I know to find happiness, is to not bore a hole to fit the plug.
Happiness
Josh Billings

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A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.
Friends and Friendship
Josh Billings

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Always live within your income, even if you have to borrow money to do so.
Debt
Josh Billings

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As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for.
Success
Josh Billings

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I don't care how much a person talks, if they only say it in a few words.
Speakers and Speaking
Josh Billings

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I honestly believe it is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.
Knowledge
Josh Billings

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Incredulity is the wisdom of the fool.
Incredulity
Josh Billings

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It ain't so much trouble to get rich as it is to tell when we have got rich.
Wealth
Josh Billings

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It is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so.
Attitude
Josh Billings

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Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
[ Research ] Wernher Von Braun